OOTD - Over the Knee and Up the shirt...

...to grandmother's house we go? Hmmm...those lyrics don't sound quite right...

Studies have shown that owning a cool leather jacket is 600% more rewarding than having children. That data has been peer reviewed by everyone still hoping their child will grow out of their 'obnoxious phase'. (SPOILER ALERT: It lasts forever. I would know - I'm someone's child)

Well it seems that climate change is cock blocking the arrival of summer here in Winnipeg, forcing me to have shame and cover my body. I'm fucking freezing. I'm like a tiny brown lizard, I depend on exothermic sources of heat to keep me warm - basically, I need to carry around a hot rock. I'm also like a tiny brown cactus because I'm so dry and my legs are prickly from not shaving. There is a moisturizer sold in Canada that is made specifically to combat 'winter itch'...which just sounds like something my slutty cousin would call that rash at the corners of her mouth. Nice girl, though she could never remember which was better; safe or sorry. 

But seriously, these over the knee boots make me feel like an extra from the Avengers. They are not a summer accessory so I'm able to get away with wearing them a little longer due to global warming. I love the feel of the suede. I would also love the feel of Tom Hiddleston on top of me. Listen - all I'm saying is that I would *definitely* kneel. 

Ya I'm squinting in this pic - the sun is a cruel mistress. 

                                                       It doesn't matter that my life is in a state worse than these ruins - what matters is that there is no lipstick on my teeth

                                                                                                                Shit. There is lipstick on my teeth